Expectations

Who is to blame when you hold high hopes? Whose fault is it when your expectations get slammed right back at you? Hope does give us a reason to look forward to something. It gives us the motivation to strive to achieve our goals but it is crucial to realize that there should be a reasonable amount of hope that is put into something such that, if in the event it fails, you still will be able to recover with minimal impact. The best approach to life is to take things neutral, take a back seat at times and just live your life the way you want to. Stop being restricted by conventional thoughts of society and stop settling for something just because you feel is what society expects you to do. It is not necessary to give in to society's expectations in order for you to feel you have lived a fruitful life. Your life is for you to dictate. If going against societal norms is necessary for you to achieve what makes you satisfied, go ahead with it. Never compromise on your believes and values. Never blame anyone for not meeting your expectations when in the first place it is you who created those very expectations. When your expectations are kept minimal, there is no reason for grudges or hatred to be harboured. Key is to minimize and not eliminate. Keeping things within a balanced radar is crucial. 

Does social media determine your worth?

What does that "like" on your recent picture that you posted mean? What does the number of views on your recent video mean? What does the number of comments you get on your posts mean? Today many tend to get so obsessed over social media that it almost runs their life. The morning insta story that you have to post to show the world what your life has been like at dawn rise. Or the lunch time meal that you had, that you most certainly need the world to see. Today many tend to determine their self worth by how many followers they have or how many likes and views they have for their posts. People tend to post moments of their happiness and are usually not very open to posting their vulnerable moments for the world to see. Many try to depict a life of perfection, where happiness is the only thing that prevails. Social media can be beneficial as well as detrimental, if not well moderated. How many of us can say that all our "friends" on facebook or all our "followers" on instagram are people we personally know and hang out frequently with. Social media is a good platform to update ourselves on daily news or information of what is happening in the world. Social media can also start to destroy our lives when we become too dependent on it for determining our worth. Many thrive for approval and validation from others in order to feel that their lives are worth being celebrated. This validation comes in the form of likes, followings, comments and views. We need to realize that there is more to our selfworth than all of these. We need to be able to self validate the purpose of our existence regardless of approval from others. The only people that truly know us are not the random people on social media that are viewing our lives from the outside and judging us based on what they see from the surface, because thats all the information they have to carve out the picture of us. Many also use the "unlike" button, "block" button the"unfriend" button or the "unfollow" button to prove a point that they are unhappy with you or they no longer want to be a part of your life. All these internal politics complicates our lives and create unwanted hard feelings and confusions. I am not trying to condemn social media completely and to push it to its grave to be burried and forgotten but rather i would like to ensure that it is necessary to practice a certain level of caution in ensuring that we don't allow it to swallow us completely into its grip. We need to draw lines between reality and illusions.

Favourite sister

A bond she shares that reminds me of home. The care and concern that reminds me what it feels to know i am loved. Someone whom i can share my feelings and thoughts with knowing i won't be judged. Honesty that makes me know when i am in the wrong and when i need to get back on track. The conversations i share with her goes deeper than the surface, so much insights so much depth so much sense and so much knowledge. Someone who can make me laugh till i tear. Someone with an amazing sense of humour. Someone whom never fails to crack me up when i need that laugh most. Someone whom i know i can rely on when i need the advice. Somone whom is so talented in many areas yet still manage to remain so humble. Someone whom i can have long, entertaining and mentally stimulating conversations with. She is my travel buddy, my advisor, my dose of humour, my counselor, the actress, the writer, the artist and last but not least my favourite sister.

No regrets

The feeling of not being able to accept another person's love, makes me question, if there is actually something wrong with that? Or is that justifiable? Is it possible that someone can love another with all their heart and soul but the other can't reciprocate those very feelings? How does one handle a situation where one is unable to feel what another is feeling for them at that time in moment. Is it not ok to take your time to understand what your heart wants and needs? It is extremely confusing at times when you don't know if you should force yourself to give the relationship a chance or to wait longer for the feelings to be mutual before you can carry on with taking things to the next level. It is extremely crucial not to deceive yourself that things will eventually work out and to lie to yourself and the other person that things are going fine when they actually aren't. It is important to be honest from the beginning about feelings even if you might be afraid of hurting the other person. Hurting with honesty is less painful then hurting with lies. If someone confesses their feelings for you and you can't feel the same about them, be honest about it. If you can't guarantee that you will ever feel something for them, be honest about that. Don't make promises that you can't keep or commitments that you can't be certain about. As much as it might hurt, give the other as much insight they deserve regarding the situation to allow them to make their own decision whether to stay on or not to. It might be their decision to confess their feelings for you and it is your responsibility to acknowledge and respect their decision by being honest about what you feel about them and the situation. Respecting another does not mean to give in to their request or pleas or to act in a way that fulfills their wants but instead respect should be about acknowledging their feelings and being honest in the way you react to them. You have to be truthful and open about what you can and cannot offer and ensure that you promise to do only what you are sure that you are capable of doing. Respect their decision if they want to distance themselves from you, if it is too painful for them to continue being around you knowing that there might be a possibility that you can never see them the way they want you to see them. Understand the place they are coming from if they choose to ghost on you. Many can see ghosting as an immature act where people are unable to confront an issue with you. To be honest everybody deals with pain differently and it is their choice to choose the way that helps them heal. If they need the ability to establish some power or control over the situation, let them have it. If that power gives them a chance to be the one to be able to "reject" in some manner or another let them have it. If the need to establish some degree of power helps them heal so be it, be sensitive enough to offer the one who is hurting the most to claim the power to heal. It is not time for you to let your ego claim the throne when knowingly or unknowingly you have caused someone to feel pain. Be the person who knows that they would not have done anything differently if time could be spinned backwards. Certain choices and decisions made could cause hurt but if you know that it was the least amount of hurt that could have possibly been felt based on the way you have chosen to react to the situation then kudos to you for making those decisions. 

Jewels of the heart

Have you ever had the feeling that you are drifting further away from the very person that cares for you the most. I have always felt that my relationship with my dad has not been the most expressive. But the feelings of care and concern are so genuine it need not be expressed with words. A father figure is such a crucial element in shaping a child's life. The presence of both parents in a child's developmental life is so important. A father figure is always seen as the one with the responsibility of disciplining a child. Years of disciplinarian actions shape somewhat of a fear in the child during their growing years. This fear creates a distance between the child and their dad and overtime it could slowly cause a drift in the relationship. It becomes akward to discuss emotions or personal life issues. The most basic of conversations are the only ones that remain on the table. It could seem that a whole deal of space has ballooned out of proportion and seem hard to patch up. As you get older and you see the effect of this very distance that separates you, it breaks you from within. The very person that cares the most for you seems to be pulling away further and that hurts. It is hard to feel at ease with your parents cause a certain level of line is always drawn and is hard to break down walls. Open communication is crucial for breaking down walls. Just a mere act of morning greetings or updating about each others life events on a daily basis helps with the breaking down of the walls. It is essential to be persistent. Parents as they get older, tend to hide their pain from their kids in an attempt to not cause any burden to them and it is the responsibility of the kids to realize any changes or difference in the behaviour of their parents and fish out the problems they might try to hide. It takes effort to maintain a proper relationship with parents cause they are the very first relationship you have experienced in your life and something you should never forget and learn to cherish. 

Coping with rejection

We have all at some point in our lives experienced moments of being rejected or rejecting.The issues that come to play on a more sensitive note is when the rejection involves people with feelings. It is as hard to reject as it is to be rejected especially if one is a person full of empathy. One might think that the most cruel thing will be of that to reject someone, but little regard is given to the feelings of those who reject.
For those rejected, you can't determine your worth just based on having been rejected by someone you like. We all find it hard to not have feelings reciprocated but the truth is we have to love ourselves enough and not have any doubt about that to actually truly accept the rejection itself and still be at peace with yourself and the other. Life is short and don't spend it being beaten up by ideas of unworthiness, insecurities, anger or any other negative feelings for that matter of fact. Never question yourself on why you were not good enough for someone else but instead try to broaden your perspective and get out of that tunnel vision.A single encounter does not define your whole life or put a fullstop to it. A heart break is ever too common, take your time and space to truly be in touch with your feelings and engage with the realness and rawness of it but once you are done please be ready to start afresh. The regret of not having given yourself the much deserved opportunities will be way more painful.The world is full of opportunity and hope, there is so much more to explore.Everybody has their own set of audience, there will be those that appreciate your work and those that don't. Are you going to choose to be beaten down by those who don't appreciate your work or are you going to be respectful and grateful for those that do? The problem we have is that we magnify our negatives and fail to even notice our positives, what a shame that is? Isn't it?
And for those that chose to reject, don't feel guilty about the choice you have made because it is important to be honest when feelings are involved. It is hard to fake feelings for long, they eventually show because we are all just human. An unbalanced relationship is the worst to get into where one party loves another way more than the other can reciprocate. Overtime resentment and frustration are the only things that mostly remain and it makes for the worst part of an equation to a balanced relationship. A relationship where one shows unconditional love and the other can only feel guilt and obligation is not a relationship meant to last because it does harm to both parties.
Life is so short please don't waste too much time being hurt. You have the power to choose how to react and how long to react. Don't waste your life regretting over what could have been but instead find what could be for your future. Don't rule out potentials in fear of getting hurt again, it is all part of the human experience to help us grow. When you are old and on your death bed, you might be wishing you could have the luxury to experience just any feeling possible even if it is hurt and rejection. So down the road these feelings might not even be worth wrecking your whole world for . Dictate your own life because only you have the power to do so, don't let another dictate it for you. It's ok to feel pain, guilt anger or any another of those humanly feelings, but don't let those feelings linger for too long, make sure they do get replaced by positive feelings eventually. When the land you own becomes barren due to certain unfortunate events, you can either choose to water it and see your land flourish or you can choose to sit by and cry over why you were unfortunate to end up with a barren land in the first place and choose to do nothing about it.
Neither is a rejected person worthless nor is the rejecting person evil, If the very act is carried out with the notion that is meant to reduce hurt and harm and it is for the better of both.

The fragility of a friendship

We all fear that fragility in the friendships that we forge. The fear of having to invest in a friendship that was never meant to last. Is it fair to call it an act of hurt or is it just the integral way of nature that causes people to drift away from our lives. There are stages in our lives where we feel close to different people and when the idea of our novelty fades, so do they. Do we not have the right to expect a certain amount reciprocation of attention from a friend that we have invested quite a significant amount of time, resources and emotions into? Is that selfish to do so? Is it alright to feel hurt when someone whom you have considered as a confidant, someone whom you have poured out your deepest and darkest emotions to, someone who has seen your most vulnerable sides, someone whom you have shared your moments of happiness and sadness with, knowingly or unknowingly drifts away. Is it ever justifiable to ignore someone who decides to leave you when you need them most and decide to come back to you when they need you most? Is it ok to accept back a friend that had drift away and now expects to jump right back into the bandwagon when things aren't going well for them and they need that attention that they aren't getting from elsewhere anymore.
It is completely normal to have shifts in the hierarchial teirs of friendship. It is ok to accept drifted friendships again, but the place they hold in your heart might not ever be the same again.
No man is an island, no matter how strong someone seems to be managing their lives alone, it is never easy to completely be on your own and to not have someone to share your happiness with or share your misery with or to get advice on issues that aren't your area of expertise. That's where the dynamics of relationships one forges in their lives come into play. Not every person you meet is bound to remain in your life forever. They are meant to teach you a lesson that you are meant to learn. Humans are complicated beings on their own, when they are thrown into a mix of other beings and asked to interact, relate and bond, the complexity of those dynamics just explodes out of proportion. It is important to know oneself best and to know that the only one true being that one can always count on is oneself, and once we have come to terms with balancing our own complexities as a person, then only will we understand and accept the ever changing dynamics of the human relational experience and to be at peace with it.

The visitor that never leaves us alone

Loneliness is that visitor that keeps creeping up on us. It visits us from time to time at different stages in our lives. The visitor that never leaves us alone (irony intended). Loneliness can be categorized as either physical isolation or mental isolation. There can be times when one might feel there is literally no one significantly present for them in their lives as everybody slowly finds their own path and leaves. Mental isolation on the other hand occurs when one feels alone despite the fact that there could be people physically present around them. The latter being a more serious issue to be tackled. For example, some feel all alone in this world because they feel they are not understood or they can't relate to others or they are simply unable to effectively communicate their thoughts or feelings. This state of loneliness could be a detrimental cycle if not intervened. I recently saw a documentary on deaf kids in the poorest village of africa. These kids grow up completely shunned by their own family and community. Being unable to communicate even basic feelings and thoughts or opinions make them feel so trapped as an individual. For many of them their parents can't afford to send them to schools to learn sign language which will be their most promising means to securing a stable future and ultimately the key to their survival. Without this tool to communicate they have to resort to leading such a repressed life, where they are not understood nor can they find anyone that is able to relate to their situation causing them to be trapped in their own world of thoughts. It is so heart wrenching to see the sadness flooding their eyes, which is the only one thing they are capable of expressing so accurately.
We all have also experienced a state of loneliness at some point in our life where we either choose to soak in the peace of isolation for soul searching purposes or to simply clear our minds and souls from the infiltration of the noise and chaos from the drama that unfolds in our lives from a day to day basis. It is essential to give ourselves that very much needed retreat. There are also those times when lonelines is not an option, during these times we feel that friends and family can be moving further and further away from us and we are left with just memories of what we had been. These times help us to filter out those people in our lives that really matter. With the power of messaging these days, it has made communication so easy. All it takes is just a text or a phone call to check on the people you care abt most. We can never be too busy to show that we care. Busy can never be accepted as a dignified excuse.There are different spectrums to categorize loneliness into and we should be well aware when it is no longer healthy to an individual and when intervention is needed. Well other times it can be the most rewarding soul searching experience one can go through.

Blind your boundaries

The beauty of friendship is that it exists regardless of ethinicity, race or language barriers. It is amazing how the human soul connects on the very basis of emotions. The ability to see someone just for their character, knowledge and emotions helps give this world a chance to merge without boundaries. It is important to foster good interacial bonds from childhood to ensure that we grow up with the notion of not judging anyone based on factors that are not within their control. It is almost primal nature for the need to segregate and go into groups that are most accepting of one's culture, race or religion. However it is important to look past those and not only be willing to accept another's difference but to also understand what they have got to offer. Learning more about others gives us a better perspective into their lives rather than assuming what their lives could be like. As the saying goes to ASSuME is to make an ass out of u and me. So get out of the boundaries we make for ourselves and explore the world out there because it just has so much to offer. 

The travel bug (sangamburi crater)

Sangamburi crater

Sangamburi crater in jeju, korea, has been one of the most magical places i have been to. Filled with flamegrass everywhere u turn, with a mountain in the far view. This place can't get anymore dreamy. With the gentle breeze caressing my face, it took me to a different zone. It makes me realize how blessed i am to be able to travel to view miracles like this, which can help me forget all my worries and troubles in an instant. Travelling gives us the ability to explore not only the world around us but also our innerselves. It is a very refreshing and liberating experience. The peace and quiet and beauty calms the mind and gives us clearer persepectives of ourselves. Taking long drives just observing sceneries and landscapes is my achilles heel. Nature is just so beautiful, the energy from nature nourishes the soul. If there is one bug i am ok to get, it will be the travel bug.😉

My beloved

If you were to ask me what is the most genuine form of love that i have ever experienced, i would say in less than a split second that it is the love my mother had for me. The purest form of love that expects nothing in return. The best form of limitless giving. It is just natural instinct for a mother to shower her unconditional love on her most precious gift. A woman starts to love so much more from the moment she realizes she has created life. It is sad that we as kids sometimes take abit too long to realize this biggest blessing we have in the form of a mother. She gave us physical protection from the moment of formation till birth. After birth, she is our pillar of physical, mental and emotional strength all in one form. A child is always a mom's priority, she will always want the best for her child and will do anything and everything to ensure that her child is well protected, well fed, well educated. We tend to not appreciate what we have until we have lost it, something i am trying to deal with up till this very moment. The pain of losing someone at a moment that came ever too unexpected. A sudden loss doesn't give you enough time to come to terms with it. It makes you question what is the purpose of god needing to take away the only person that could care for you in a way beyond what can even be comprehended. The beauty of unconditional love is what i have learnt from my mom. It is hard to experience closure when you end up living with the guilt of not being able to return even half the amount of love that has been offered. So many unsaid words, undone actions and unexpressed emotions. The only thing that remains are those beautiful memories of what we have done and experienced together. These memories help to heal the wounds of loss. Wounds heal but scars remain. Memories being those scars, reminds us of their perpetual presence in our lives that can't be erased. It is tough to fill up the void but life still goes on. No one else can take up that space that was once taken up by a loved one, but it is alright to expand that space to accomodate the right ones in your life.

Tears of empowerment

Crying is one of the most basic of human expressions and experiences, but yet it is not seen as something people are ready to admit to having done. Neither does it seem ok for many in society to openly reveal to others about crying. Social media gets flooded with posts that emote happiness, contentment, joy and peace, but many are not comfortable to express their most vulnerable moments of raw emotions. Crying is seen as an act of embarrassment and a moment of weakness where people feel they would be looked down upon if 'caught in the act". Crying can be one of the most liberating acts for the soul. There can be days when the eyes can't cope with the demand from the hurt soul. Crying is a very raw form of soulful connection. Crying has its own gender stereotypes that ought to be broken down. For example, crying tends to be associated more with the female gender. We tend to be brought up hearing things such as "don't cry like a girl", with such statements so readily said, the mind tends to conform to such believes. A real man is not someone who acts tough and holds back his tears in an attempt to prove to society that he is strong and living up to "gender expectations" but instead someone who is courageous enough to not be restricted by society's expectations and to react to his own emotional needs by being willing to express any forms of emotions that helps him liberate himself. If moments of vulnerability is needed for empowerment, then by all means please be as vulnerable as you can.
We all chase a life of trying to display perfection of ourselves in the eyes of others. We put on a public facade of glamour and flawlessness when in reality we are flooded with inner anguish. Just let those veils of perfection fall and liberate yourself. 

Visions

What is it to see life through another's eyes? An opportunity for a whole new perspective of insights into another's world. Everyone is fighting their own battles whether visible or not .Only when insights are gained into an individual's world, then only will the essence of their being be truly understood. Never judge a person without viewing their world through their eyes. Everybody has their own right to perception. The steps taken by each might be different but the ultimate journey to be taken should be that towards acceptance of one another. Acceptance regardless of differences is crucial to bringing down barriers that tear us apart. Walk in another's shoes and see the world through another's eyes. A multitude of experiences awaits one that is willing to share their world with another as well as to receive it whole heartedly.

Explorer

Life is all about striking your unique balance. Take your time to reflect. Take a moment to just stare into the sky, to appreciate its vastness of hope and opportunities.The sky is your leverage it is not a limit. It shows hope to go further and beyond. Don't just sit at your spot hoping for a miracle to happen. Be your own miracle, give yourself the leverage you need to hit your heights. Opportunity waits in abundance around you. All you have to do is to have the courage to leave the spot you are so comfortable sitting on and be ready to explore the surroundings. Don't be afraid to fall off, believe in your self grip and the ability for you to have trust in yourself. Believe that you are more than capable of picking yourself up even when you fall. Self trust is the first step to building a strong emotional foundation to tap on when tough times arrive. Fallen people rise to the heighest. It is ok to sit and appreciate the comfort and beauty around you but never fear to leave that in pursuit for new spots. There is no shortage of beauty in this world and the only way to realize this is to have the courage to spread your wings and explore. #beautyistoexplore #beautyistobeexplored.

Just a smile

All it takes is a smile to change the way the world feels. Just a smile to bring down barriers. Just a smile to reduce hostility. Just a smile to bring joy and light to your soul. Just a smile to reduce the miles between you and i. Just a smile to forget troubles. Just a smile to heal relationships. Just a smile to help you through failures. Just a smile to invite. Just a smile to approach. Just a smile to reduce the pain of suffering. Just a smile to hold on a little longer. Just a smile to feel accepted. Just a smile to forget differences. Just a smile to spread positivity. Just a smile is all it takes, so just smile, it sure is worth the effort.

The artist

Freedom to paint your life lies in your hands. Don't be afraid to take up the brush and start your journey. Every stroke either gentle or rough, every colour either bright or dull, every canvas either big or small, ends up being your decision. Every decision made, contributes to how your painting turns out. Put in the effort, time and dedication to become the best artist you can in your life, to bring out the best painting in you. The most beautiful paintings come from the ability to not seek perfection and follow the heart. Real beauty lies in tue chaos within organization. Be random, be bold, be intuitive, be expressive, be an artist.

Dear autumn leaves

Dear autumn leaves,
thanks for giving me the honour to appreciate your beauty. There will be a time when your leaves lose their beautiful shades of colour and you will end up falling from the heights of the tree onto the ground. Don't be disheartened that your time to shine has reached it's end and it is time to hand over the throne to the new generation. The cycle of rise and fall is ever too common. Make the most of yourself wherever you are, up on a tree or down on the ground. Heights don't determine your worth. You are as beautiful on the ground as you are on a tree.

Thoughts at the end of an alley

Standing at the end of the alley, with a voice in your head wondering if there is actually anything worthy out there to leave the comfort of your protection and venture out into the open. Shielded no more. Worried of the exposure, worried of the vulnerability, worried of the harsh world out there just a step away. At the same time you hear another voice competing with the first, encouraging you to take that step. The  experience of the new light, a world full of opportunities, hope and wisdom. It is never going to be a perfect road out there, but without trying you will never be able know what you are capable of achieving. Those with greatest achievements carry their scars honourably along with them because every scar is a valuable lesson in the teaching of life. Sometimes the smallest steps make the greatest differences. Never regret because ever failed step is a step carved for the path to victory.

The stream of hope amidst drought

No matter how rocky the path ahead might be, never give up on the pursuit of reaching the final goal. Be the water that you have to be and shape yourself around your obstacles and continue to move ahead. You might feel that there is not much of you left, as the days go by and u feel your energy reserves are draining leaving you scarce. The obstacles seeming to be more prevalent compared to your presence might make you feel insignificant at times, but never give up and continue to pave your path through the difficult situations and that very resilience will help you to reach the final reward at the end. Be that hope to ur believe, be that tiny stream of water amidst the drought. #bethehope

Union of the shadow and the sun

Even shadows need to have some light dispersed around it to make it standout in beauty. Everyone needs their light in the darkest moments to help them realize how beautiful their pain has been in shaping them. Never underestimate the power of the shadow and the presence of the light which when put together at the right time in the right space brings abt an abundance of beauty and respect.

Soul company

Best company is one where u genuinely enjoy the presence and impact of another being. Special is what this relationship can be called. The ability to have genuine honesty to express opinions knowing it might strain relations and the courage to continue doing so inspite of knowing it. With the willingness to risk it all to ensure that the other takes the right route in life and benefits frm it. Fake relations never last long as they are usually sugar coated on the outside but rotten within. A genuine friendship might seem thorny on the outside but is sweet and fresh within and this very genuine nature is what enables it to last in the long run. You know that no matter how tough the road might be, your friend just wants u to end up on the road that leads to ur betterment and progress. A good friend stretches ur potential but never lets u break. #friendslikesoul

Beauty of raindrops

The art of a perspective based appreciation of beauty lies in possibly anything and everything. This very picture speaks boldly about the beauty of the tiny rain droplets that seem ever very insignificant as it falls fast frm the sky to the ground. Capturing it as it hits the surface of a window and slows down it's pace and stops for an instant decorating it's canvas of display. In the backdrop the vivid view of the green landscape stands so perfectly in view, enhancing the beauty of the raindrops. Stopping to appreciate the smallest of all beauty reaps big satisfactional rewards. #beautyliesineverything

Bus journey as a life journey

Most philosophical thoughts get cultivated during my long journeys. I like long rides where i just sit and listen to music and zone out. Just like when you start a journey, it is with very few people. Along the way u pick up more people and not everyone stays with u till the end. People get on and off, when it is their time to leave. The journey is best when u just move forward and not backwards which makes the journey more difficult to handle and risky. All the necessary turns in life is normal in a journey, u can't expect a straight and exciting journey. The turns are necessary to get u to ur destination and to pick up the right ppl frm the right destinations. Enjoy ur journey. 😉 #thephilosophicalmeaningineverydayevents.